Monday, January 2, 2012

Beyond Platonic

So here's a question for the class. Can two people be platonic friends even if one is attracted to the other?

Or 2nd hypothetical can two people (successfully) be platonic friends even if they were/are both attracted to one another?

The reason I ask is I always thought yes... Grown, mature adults can look past physical desire and focus in what they have in common. What makes them friends in the first place.

I certainly have been attracted (both physically and mentally) to friends but never let it get in the way of our friendship. I'd rather have them as friends than not at all.

Today though I started questioning this ideal. Am I just naive to think its possible? Does it just need time? Or am I fighting an impossible fight?

I posed the question to friends on FB and do far most don't think it's possible or a good idea.

I've had a variety of brief "romances". Some have ended with heartbreak and not being able to look at one another in a hall let alone be friends. Some took a few years, some maturing and growing up but in the end we'd consider each other friends. Even one FWB situation that couldn't have ended better if I scripted it - FWB one day, just friends (and still are) the next.

Today though. Today I experienced something on the spectrum I haven't had happen before nor was I expecting. Someone who I, at one time, was attracted to and he I...was so upset that I wouldn't indulge him in the fantasies of a future between us that he practically threw a tantrum!!

Despite knowing the BF and I are together again (he's known since day 1) and I've said all along that I'm a one man woman. I don't know if he's been living in some disillusioned state thinking I'd come running to his arms any day now or what.

Today I had to deal with lines being crossed. Choices not being respected. And finding out "just friends" meant "maybe I can change your mind".

Today I was told to not only stay away but ignore any greetings or extended hands he might offer in the future...until I'm at least "no longer entertaining the thought" that we can be friends.

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