Friday, April 13, 2012

Fashion Friday: Busty Girl Problems

Today on Facebook The Curvy Fashionista (re)posted a buzzfeed.com piece called "12 Problems That Only Busty Girls Have". I have to agree with (almost) every single one of them....damnit!

1. The Surprise Stain (although to have the image be more accurate it would a) either have fallen out of the sloppy joe and landed on top of her "shelf" ...boobs...or b) shown her at home hours later confused as to when the stain got on her stomach...because seeing past our boobs is usually an issue)

2. The Counter Dilemma (I remember Grandma saying it wasn't polite to put your elbows on the table but she never mentioned hoisting the girls up there)

3. Airplane Turbulence (That has to be some serious turbulence or a really bad bra...but yes they do jiggle in circumstances that normally don't for smaller boobs).

4. The Motorboating Proposition (I don't know if I've had someone ask to motorboat them but I do have a friend that does something similar...more like a fish/shark tail. Replace mouth with hand)

5. The Built-in Bra Issue (This is just too funny. Please a "built-in bra" not gonna happen)

6. The Shoulder Strap Attack (You mean God didn't give me this much cleavage just to put a duffel bag strap through? Huh?)

7. The Dishwashing Dilemma (This also happens in the bathroom when washing my face. Doesn't matter if there's a towel there or not. Water all over the boobs I might as well enter a wet t-shirt contest)

8. Ye Old "Boob Spillage" (They grow hands what can I say. My boobs are against me)

9. Simply Folding Your Arms (I have to admit. I don't remember the last time I was able to simply "fold" my arms across me "chest")

10. Ruffles (Oh, I don't go there that often for the reason that I might as well be wearing a sign that says "Look at My Tits"....Ruffles can "hide" them sometimes but usually it's a flashing neon sign)

11. Suspenders (I've never tried suspenders to be honest. But just looking at this image...this is probably why I haven't)

12. Stairs (I have to practically lean forward at a 45 degree angle just to see my feet and the stairs. There's a reason I don't run up/down stairs...this and reference see below)

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These are great (in that so true it's sadly funny) but just the tip of the iceberg. Here are a few I'd like to add to the list.

13. Running. I mean really running. Doesn't matter if I'm in a sports bra, strapped down with binding or holding them in place. Running just doesn't happen. Aside from the fact I'd be afraid of smacking myself in the face (or someone else) it just plain hurts to run. See "Airplane Turbulence" image.

14. Shirt Shopping. When your boobs are one shirt size and your shoulders/stomach/waist are all a different size it makes shopping "interesting" to say the least. I usually have to grab the same shirt in a few sizes to see which one fits the best - but doesn't pucker around the buttons or hang too much everywhere else. Pain in the ass. Let me tell you. 

15. Hugs. You would think this wouldn't be a big deal right? It's just a hug right? Well mostly the hugging becomes a problem when you're trying to hug another big busted person. You turn slightly to the side to prevent squishing and/or to try and get arms around each other. 

Then of course there's the slight, casual, pat on the back hug you give to someone you feel you should hug. It's hard enough to do that without then pushing your boobs up against them. AWKWARD. 

16. PAIN. Upper back pain. Lower back pain. Shoulder pain.  Knee pain. You name it big boobs can cause it. 

17. The Jokes. Oh no, the "melon", "pillows", "basketball" jokes never grow old...It's like I've never heard "nice melons" before....

These are just the ones I thought of off the top of my head. What would you add?

1 comment:

  1. Some from me: Dress shopping...I can get the dress zipped up -almost- all the way. More shirt shopping...button up work shirts - can you say 'mind the gap'? Also, you have two choices fitted (everyone thinks you're trying to show them off...when all you want is to show that you DO have a waist) or oversized...everyone thinks you're 50 lbs more than you are. Wear a normal shirt, your boss thinks you're being 'showy'...wear a fitted turtleneck...same thing. Damned if you do - damned if you don't. Dogs, puppies, babies...they bite, poke and sleep on them. Everyone wants to know your bra size. If they're this big now...what will they look like when I'm pregnant?! Yes...I CAN actually put my hands under them and carry them. :)

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