"I've got the only heart in Korea with a revolving door"-Margaret Houlihan, M*A*S*H
My brain is full of M*A*S*H quotes, scenes and clips. I grew up watching with my parents and grandparents. I remember learning to tie my shoes while in my grandmother's tv room with M*A*S*H playing.
More and more I'm feeling like Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan is my inner M*A*S*H character - complete with a revolving door heart.
"The latest Mr. Right just left"...both a line from M*A*S*H and how my day went today. After three years of on-again/off-again and thousands of miles in a long distance relationship...the BF and I broke up.
We ended by calling it a "separation" and saying we just need some time apart, dating other people, figuring out what we want in life...but I know in my heart that we're over. Or at least over until he can step up and prove that he can be the man I need.
No more games. No more guessing. No more broken promises.
There have been some misty eyes and a tear or two have found their way down my cheek but for now I'm more angry - angry at him, angry at myself, and mostly looking to just move on. To find someone who is what I need and who wants what I want. Not someone who, no matter how much I love, can't seem to meet those.
I need someone who wants what I want not someone who may or may not someday maybe want the same things. While I already miss him and wish this wasn't what I was blogging about today. It's where I am and what I'm facing.
Following in the Margaret's footsteps I'm out to find my spirit again, feel like the real me and not let anyone stand in my way. I know I deserve someone who is going to put as much effort into the relationship as I do. Someone who is going to want to spend time with me and is willing to travel the world to see me. Someone who wants the same things in life, in a relationship, as me.