Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Hot Lips Houlihan


"I've got the only heart in Korea with a revolving door"-Margaret Houlihan, M*A*S*H


My brain is full of M*A*S*H quotes, scenes and clips. I grew up watching with my parents and grandparents. I remember learning to tie my shoes while in my grandmother's tv room with M*A*S*H playing.

More and more I'm feeling like Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan is my inner M*A*S*H character - complete with a revolving door heart.

"The latest Mr. Right just left"...both a line from M*A*S*H and how my day went today. After three years of on-again/off-again and thousands of miles in a long distance relationship...the BF and I broke up.

We ended by calling it a "separation" and saying we just need some time apart, dating other people, figuring out what we want in life...but I know in my heart that we're over. Or at least over until he can step up and prove that he can be the man I need. 

No more games. No more guessing. No more broken promises. 

There have been some misty eyes and a tear or two have found their way down my cheek but for now I'm more angry - angry at him, angry at myself, and mostly looking to just move on. To find someone who is what I need and who wants what I want. Not someone who, no matter how much I love, can't seem to meet those. 

I need someone who wants what I want not someone who may or may not someday maybe want the same things.  While I already miss him and wish this wasn't what I was blogging about today. It's where I am and what I'm facing.  

Following in the Margaret's footsteps I'm out to find my spirit again, feel like the real me and not let anyone stand in my way. I know I deserve someone who is going to put as much effort into the relationship as I do. Someone who is going to want to spend time with me and is willing to travel the world to see me. Someone who wants the same things in life, in a relationship, as me. 

7 comments:

  1. Awww. so sorry to hear the break up, but I love the attitude you have about it. You are right, whoever you are with should always want to go that extra mile for you

    xx
    Meinmode.blogspot.com

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  2. Never settle for anything/ anyone who doesn't meet up to your desires.......that person is out there somewhere, searching for the same thing that you are....

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  3. I always loved M*A*S*H growing up! It sounds like you've found a great way to work through your separation and move on to healing. You know what you want, you know what you need, and I wish you the best of luck finding it :-)

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  4. being mom, i never think any man is good enough for my girls. My Morgan deserves a man that worships the ground she walks on, loves her cooking and cats and laughs at her when she is too serious. i hope is is out there searching for you too darling

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  5. I kind of feel like I wrote this, but without the break up part. There are some powerful words there. I admire your strength. It's only just dawning on me that loving and being loved with all the respective parties' hearts sometimes isn't enough.

    Meanwhile, I also love M*A*S*H almost as much as I love the cause of 99% of my headaches! The character I relate best to is that poor clumsy girl that nobody wanted to date, who kept injuring Hawkeye when he tried to take one for the team. Long time favourite show - never has life in khaki looked so appealing.

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  6. Breaking up can be hard. But you saw that this wasn't what you wanted/needed and you made a decision. Men see us as the weaker sex, but if you ask me I think we are emotionally stronger than they are. You deserve all of those things you want. I'm on week three, since my breakup, and I'm way better off. We will both find what we deserve. The important thing is to go out and find it. Good luck to you. :)

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