Sunday, June 10, 2012

Rebounding.

Its been about three weeks since the (ex) BF and I broke up. When we split it was because I was tired of waiting, tired of feeling like my heart was a yo-yo, tired of broken promises and sudden unexpected and unpleasant surprises. It's been far from the breakup experience I expected. 

No crying and no tears. Broken hearted feelings haven't really peaked their head. 

More anger, frustration, feeling that I'd been blind the last three years. Thinking I'd been misreading signs and mishearing loving phrases. 

The day after (?) the BF and I broke up I wrote to a guy I'd met online ("the lawyer"), the last time the BF and I had broken up. The Lawyer pops back into my life occasionally looking for a little hanky-panky. Normally I'm not one to jump into the sack with a man I don't know, but the emotions and anger I was feeling made me think "hey maybe I do need a rebound man".

Well his work takes him traveling and for good or bad wasn't in town the weekend after my relationship crumbled. This last weekend however, The Lawyer finally came home (he lives just over the river in Vancouver). 
However, enough time has passed that I'm not looking for a rebound. I'm not looking unemotional physicality. I'm tired of feeling like the only men I attract are the ones who want to get into my pants.  I'm ready to feel like someone wants to spend time with me and that it's not just because of my tits and ass. 

I'm tired of being someone's now and then and am looking to find someone to be my, and me his, number one.  I'm not looking to fall in love again so soon. But just to be treated like a lady and to be made to feel special.

So maybe the concept of a rebound just isn't for me, just as I'm not a one-night stand or booty-call kinda girl. 

4 comments:

  1. I just commented on your breakup post, and like I've said I also have reached the three week mark in my break up. And like you, I've only been angry no crying. Ok...with a hint of bitterness too. I'm glad to hear that you aren't looking for a rebound. I myself wouldn't be able to do that either. I think it's better to allow yourself some more time before meeting someone new. Again I wish you luck.

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    1. Oh don't worry. There's def some bitterness mixed into my emotional roller coaster too.

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  2. I understand where you are coming from. I broke up with my ex 4 months ago and I went through my single girl stage. I was happy for the break up and wanted to be free. Now, I've come to the point where I am still not ready to fall in love again, but I'd like to meet someone who I can have fun with and has a genuine interest in who I am. If something good comes of it, great. If not, that is ok too. But I am not looking for someone to have a quick 20 minutes with....that's what a vibrator is for. Lol.

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    1. LMAO! Damn right girl! Especially if we're talking a one time thing. No thanks.

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