Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Mr New Jersey (Part 3)

I know I've mentioned "Mr. NJ" a few times and promised I'd talk about him "later". Well here we go. A three part series on my new Mr. New Jersey.



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Mr. New Jersey (Part 3: Falling Hard & Fast)

So if you have been following my blog (or have read parts 1 & 2 of this series) you would know I became (officially) single a few months back and have since rejoined the dating world and met a Mr New Jersey just over a month ago.

Well, about a few weeks ago I deleted my online dating profile. I decided to when I realized I hadn't checked the account (or used its profile search tool) for some while, and didn't feel the need or desire too.

Why bother when I had met someone who makes me smile ear to ear just thinking about him. When I get a text or instant message from him it makes my whole day. He shows interest in knowing me: my past and future, my likes and dislikes, and just gives me the biggest butterflies in my stomach.

He brought up the other day how much he wanted to come out to Portland to meet me in person but just didn't know when he could get away from work. So as an alternative I'm looking to go to him for a quick turn around weekend. (Note: it took the Ex nearly three years to get off his ass and come see me). I've never been to that part of the country; an while he lives IN New Jersey he works in, and lives just across the river from, NYC (someplace I've always wanted to visit). So we found two weekends that might work for both of us and I'm pricing plane tickets.

On more than one occasion he has lamented about how we don't live closer because he would love to "date" me and make me "his".  Then this last Saturday we were just chatting, as I was cleaning the house for a family dinner. We were talking about my (hopefully) upcoming visit to see him, when he mentioned something along the same lines again. I, playfully, said something about how we'll just have to see how things go. Our conversation then quickly changed to LDRs and our past experiences with them. He said how he'd be willing to try one again "for the right girl". I told him how my last relationship was long distance and I learned (the hard way) what makes it work. He then told me how he falls hard for the right girl and is just a hopeless romantic (something else we both have in common).

Now I know my friends are going to read this, shake their head and be thoroughly disappointed I'm looking at another long distance relationship. But Mr. New Jersey and I have talked about how a LDR (not "ours") needs to have frequent visits to help make the relationship work. That's just one of the many things I learned needs to happen (or else) to make a relationship work long distance: frequent visits, consistent communication, and most importantly an "end plan"... but for now I just want to get to know Mr. New Jersey more and see what happens. 

And really, in the end, if it doesn't work. If I get another slow fade or he is not at all what I expected. I got out of the cycle I was in with the Ex. I opened my heart to the possibility of another. And I'm moving forward with my life.

But for now I'm not jumping to an conclusions or skipping all the steps that make dating fun. But for now I freely admit that I'm crushing hard on my Mr. NJ. I fall hard and fast with the "right guy" and he certainly is no exception. He's something special in my opinion and according to him so am I.


8 comments:

  1. I know other people might say its crazy to even like a guy you never met or lives far away, but I admire the risk you are willing to take to find love. And with great risks comes great rewards. I am still working on trying to open myself up to love. I know I am very closed off but it's some where in me. I definitely cannt wait to hear about what is to come!

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    1. For a while I thought the same thing (about falling for someone online). But then I started to realize that it allows you to get to know each other on a different level. Communication is crucial because it's not like face-to-face where (so many) fall into the pattern of physical intimacy. I too was closed off for a long time (there was a ten year gap in my dating life) before I finally found it in me to trust and love again. Thanks for following me.

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  2. I met my husband on a cruise and we dated long distance for a year before we moved. We have been married for 6 years this July! It's totally possible. When you know you know. I found you on a blog hop (sadly don't remember which one) and you are too funny. Signed up for emails!

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    1. Thanks Julia. I love hearing about romances that started off with a different spin. I think you're the first I've learned about meeting on a cruise. How romantic! LDR are hard but I truly believe if it's meant to be you can make it work. Thanks for following.

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  3. I can already tell I'm going to love your blog. I think it's awesome what you're doing. Thanks so much for following me, I've followed back. :)

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  4. Hey, my husband and I had a long distance relationship, and we started dating after a week of knowing each other! Of course everyone disapproved, but you can't listen to anyone but your own heart!! If I had, I wouldn't be happily married with a little girl, and another on the way. It is hard at times, we did the distance thing for over a year before we could be together. But if it's for the right person, it's worth it. :)

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    1. Camille. You just made my evening!! Thank you for the lovely story. It helps bunches.

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