Meeting Mr. New Jersey

Yes, I fuzzed his face. Give us a little time before
we start showing off the handsome BFs face
I mentioned in my last post how Mr. New Jersey and I finally met for the first time this last weekend. 

For those that haven't read the three part New Jersey blog posts I'll give a quick refresh. We met online this past summer (on a dating site devoted to BBW/BHM and admirers) when he emailed me directly and struck up a conversation. 

An email a day quickly turned into day and evening long conversations over IM and just as quick that turned into text messaging one another at every opportunity.  Things just seemed to work, others we had been talking too didn't matter any more, and we became smitten with one another. 

Only a few months in and we were discussing how, despite it seeming quick or "odd" since we hadn't yet met in person, we considered the other one our GF/BF and not long after that the L-word was being said.

The way I explained it to friends is that I feel I've known him my whole life. That he's always been there and we just recently fell into the steps of being more than friends. I feel like I can tell him anything, my deepest darkest past and that he won't judge or turn away (which I have and he hasn't)

Being that we are in a bicoastal long distance relationship and that he travels extensively for work it hasn't been the easiest to try and get together in person - despite trying. However, with my 30th birthday approaching and me making plans to be in SoCal - once again the stars alined and my Mr. New Jersey was being sent to the same area for work!

Someone how not nervous* at all we made plans to spend Friday night together (the one evening our two trips overlapped) - dinner with the friends I was staying with and then an evening being alone together. 

Some have questioned me having our "first date" be with other people....but I did it for a few reasons:
  1. Online dating "safety" (not that I thought Mr. NJ was going to turn into a serial killer and murder me after dinner but it's being safe nonetheless)
  2. It gave us both an "out" (we've been online together for seven months now and the chemistry has been fantastic. But online and in person is very different so in case either of us decided "hell no" we had an easy out - me going home with my friends)
  3. I just knew that Mr. NJ and my friend/her hubby would hit it off. We're all foodies, they are all world travelers and something told me it would be okay
  4. I kind of felt bad having just arrived in town and then saying "see ya" to friends so I could go on a date. 

Any-who....The evening went off without a hitch. 

Iz and Mr. K dropped me off in front of the restaurant while they went and parked. I texted Mr. NJ that I was just outside the restaurant and he should come out and meet me. 

*Now up until that point I had been amazingly calm. Calm and relaxed to the point it was making Iz nervous. Calm and relaxed to the point I was making the BFF in Seattle nervous. But there wasn't an ounce of nerves inside me. I knew that I was finally getting to see my Jersey man and nothing could spoil it. 

However, those few seconds between me hitting "Send" on the phone and him walking through the restaurant doors I had a lump in my throat and the butterflies in my belly began to flutter in knots. 

What if we didn't click in person like we did online?
What if we have nothing to say to one another?
What if he doesn't like me back as much as I like him?

Every nervous thought and feeling that could flood over me did in those 30 seconds it took him to come outside and get me. 

But the moment he walked through the double doors. 
The moment I saw him and he smiled at me. 

It all melted away. 

I knew this was my love and I had nothing to worry or be nervous about. We hugged and kissed hello and it felt as if this was just another date with the BF. Not a first date to be worried about. Not a first encounter with a stranger from thousands of miles away. Just me and the BF on a date. 

I found out the next morning when giving Iz the after dinner report that when she and Mr. K approached the hostess and asked to be pointed to our party she didn't believe that we were the couple she was looking for. Our backs were to them, sitting in a window seat, and as she put it "looking like a real couple". She told me her approving observation that we didn't seem anxious but rather we were in tune with one another the whole evening - my hand on his back, his hand on my knee, or holding hands - and just looked "good" together. 

The dinner itself was wonderful. He was charming and funny. They discussed places they have traveled and would like to travel again and bonded, despite rooting for opposing teams, over how they had all been at the same USC v Notre Dame football game. We laughed, we ate and drank and the two and a half hours of dinner just flew by. 

At the end the two couples went their separate ways to enjoy the rest of their evenings. The BF and I spent the evening just enjoying one another's company. Finally getting to be in the presence of the one we had spent the last seven months falling in love with. When morning came and it was time for him to fly back to New Jersey and me to head to LA with Iz for our tour, it didn't come as a sad goodbye. 

Tears didn't flow. 
Anxiety didn't return. 
I knew that this was just a temporary separation.
We promised to find a way to see more of each other and soon.

As I write this my heart is bursting with love in shapes and forms I don't think I've ever experienced before. The tears that are sitting just inside aren't from sadness but rather in joy. I have found my Sparkle and know this is only the beginning to our journey together.  


  1. Ahh! I am so excited for both of you. I've been following your blog since you and Mr. NJ started chatting and I am so glad you finally got to meet and that it turned out so wonderfully!

    All the best :)


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