Return to Sender (or Other People's Baggage)
I understand that sometimes blogging opens doors to the author's personal life. I share things here with, let's be honest, strangers. People I haven't met. People I don't know if I'd recognize in a line up.
I also believe in the blogging community. It is because we share personal things that we start to get to know one another (even if it is online) and care for one another.
I worry when I haven't seen a new post from someone in a while, or if someone blogs about a break up or even their little one being under the weather. I have been known to share advice from time to time - if the person is seeking it.
|^ PERSONAL BAGGAGE ^|
However, I think there is a line between offering advice/sharing concern and simply dumping "your" personal baggage onto the blogger.
Everyone's experiences in life are different. One relationship or circumstance is not like the other and as bloggers and blog readers we need to remember this when commenting/emailing one another.
And ultimately I understand that sharing personal things can lead to comments from readers that perhaps aren't welcome or (in this case) appropriate.
Today I found the following email in my "other" facebook email inbox (the one they send things that aren't from friends to) - not to my Ms. Morgan's Reality Check facebook but my private personal account. And I wanted to share it with you....
Conversation started Friday 8:57pm from Allison K.
"from valentine days post....he is NOT your boyfriend....you not his only girlfriend. How have you preach such positive mesage and say to be in control of yourself and respect yourself and say you not deal with men who just want it. You really believe he could not tbe with you if he really want to on this very especial day? 1st valentines? you let me and the reading people of your blog down. you the same as we all. and he lie when he say no girlfriends. He keep not only one but many girlfriends all over. dont believe me? find out for you self. he date"
Now, to be fair. I do not know this person. I do not know if they are a regular reader of my blog. Or a follower on facebook/twitter. Obviously they have been to my blog at least once and came across the post on the Language of Love (where I mention that the BF missed our first Vday). . .and (I suppose) felt concerned that I am/was being taken advantage of by the BF. . .enough to (somehow stalker like) find my personal FB account and email me.
What I would like to point out - and the reason this email made me so mad - was that this isn't someone's attempt to break bad news, this isn't someone recognizing his picture (although it is fuzzed out) and realizing "OMG. He's my BF too", this isn't even someone who knows me personally and is concerned that something isn't right.
If you are going to make these accusations you better have some cold hard facts. Tell me his name. Tell me you've dated him. Show me a picture.
This email is full of their own personal baggage, negative experiences and past bad relationships. I'm sorry if you were once cheated on, if you weren't "his" only girlfriend.
But if you are truly concerned don't scold me for not respecting myself...tell me that I've let my readers down...and accuse my BF of having "many girlfriends all over."
I got so emotionally worked up over this (out of frustration, anger and disappointment) that I had to share it with Iz and make sure I wasn't going crazy. . .and let me remind you that Iz has actually MET the BF. . . . She agreed these were just empty accusations and actually her first thought was SPAM.
So in the end, it was just spam. Unwanted junk mail from someone overstepping their bounds and laying their personal baggage on my doorstep.
Well I'm sorry to disappoint by I'm marking this package "return to sender".
Keep your negativity and mistrust in men somewhere else.