Tuesday, April 2, 2013

I am a Chia Pet



There it was.
 
Abnormally long.
 
At least half an inch
 
White and course.
 
Sticking out where it doesn't belong.
 
. . . A HAIR . . . IN. MY. EAR!!

Okay so it wasn't really "IN" my ear. It was more the side of my face near where sideburns would be (you know if I had sideburns) . . . but still it was a white hair coming out of a part of body I've never had hair before!
 
It's not like it's the first white hair I've found. I found three back on NYE 2012 in the "bangs" area of my hairline. Except for one moment of OMG I've been okay with those three . . . well there was once I plucked them all because they are shorter than the rest and were standing up like an Alfalfa cowlick.
 
Then there was today . . . today was full of bizarre and "welcome to your 30s" hair finds. 
 
Aside from this mysterious, and taunting, white hair in my ear (yea, yea. I know I said it wasn't IN my ear but it makes for a better story) . . . and discovering the three white hairs in my bangs have started having babies and have reproduced to four hairs.
 
I was sitting out in the beautiful sunshine, waiting for the bus to head home, applying lipstick when . . . . oh no . . .that's not peach fuzz on my upper lip . . . . that's . . . . OMG!!! Guess when I go in for an eye brow wax and the woman asks if I want my upper lip done too I shouldn't just dismiss her and say "no" like she's trying to get an extra $5. Apparently she's been seeing these tiny little black hairs sprouting. They may only be a few millimeters long but I still feel like the bearded lady at a side show attraction.
 
Yes. I am half Italian.
Yes. Even the women on the English/German side tweeze, pluck and wax.
But why? Why do I turn 30 and suddenly start sprouting hair
like a damn chia pet?
 
 
*sigh*

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