Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Becoming a Portlander Part2

In part of the merging of old blogs with this new(er) one, I'm coming across a few old posts I had forgotten about. Like this one about becoming a Portlander. - it was an article from the Willamette Week about how to know when you've become a true "Portlander". 

Looking back, two years since I first posted it, I will admit I have done things I never thought I would...so I thought it'd be fun to revist the list. I will admit, relooking at this...I can understand why a show like "Portlandia" was created.


Blue - things I had done as of 2011
Orange - things I've done/become since

  • Throw away your umbrella (not always but often)
    Call a cab becuase Trimet doesn't get you to the airport early enough
  • Cancel your plans because of the rain
  • Secretly eat meat (and other things thanks to the job I have) 
  • Stand with misdemeanors in metal detector line at Multnomah County Courthouse 
  • Attend a themed pub crawl (this past St. Patrick's Day)
  • Sliding scale therapy (found for work but still found)
  • Develop passive-aggressive method to deter people asking for change/signature 
  • Experience Starbucks shame 
  • Complain about mild traffic 
  • Have an opinion on Oregon pinot 
  • Pretend you don't recognize someone as a Suicide Girl 
  • Get lost in outer east Portland 
  • Learn how hard it is to be pregnant and vegan (watching my sister) 
  • Get stuck on a bridge (not for too long luckily) 
  • Follow a food cart on Twitter 
  • Refer to your spouse as your "partner" 

  • Deplore Mexican food until you find a food cart (now let's be specific....on deploring Portland Mexican food)
  • Thank your bus driver
    Learn to pronounce Couch
  • Forward a NYTimes article about PDX
  • Endure seasonal affective disorder
  • Recycle empty bottles at the grocery store 
  • Vote by mail 
  • Mess up Burgerville compost bin 
  • If you've read Chuck Palaniuk, pretend you haven't, or vice versa (which? I'll never tell) 
  • Wait in line for Brunch 
  • Adopt a favorite homeless person 
  • Ride Bus line 14 (line-of-shame) (not out of shame however) 
  • Stop thinking the pronunciation of Couch is funny 
  • Wait in WA for someone to pump your gas
    Fall asleep in public and have nothing bad happen
    Become an internet reverend 
  • Refuse to attend a party because it's on the other side of the river
  •  Travel to Cannon Beach or Newport for Mo's Chowder

Apply for a job at Powells
Sell books at Powells
Get a Multnomah County Library card
Get thrown off the MAX
Get a Netflix...then get a Move Madness account
Join a food co-op
Have a parking ticket double after 30days
Go to a strip joint to play pool
Grow a half-beard
Get a haircut drunk
Hangover recoup at Avalon Theatre or Wunderland Nickle Arcade
Flirt at the Doug Fir fire pit
Watch a sunset from Mt. Tabor
Apply to grad school and then don't go
Still feel bad about Elliott Smith
Find a medical marijuana card holder via craigslist
Walk the Eastbank Esplanade
Sleep with someone who works at New Seasons
Hate California (never)
Quit a yoga class


Either be a Westsider or Eastsider
Gentrify a neighborhood
Pick berries on Sauvie Island
Pretend to listen to OPB
Embrace soccer
Be outraged about Brandon Roy
Shop for a station wagon
Buy a backyard chicken
Dance at the Fez, Goodfoot or Ararat
Pull a phone number at a dog park
Buy outdoor gear
Scorn Vancouver tax dodgers
Be proud of your black friend
Get laid off, join the creative class
Buy clothes from Red Light and sell them to Buffalo Exchange
Find a dress at the Red, White & Blue thrift store
Wear it to the Red Dress Party
Float down the Little Sandy River
Crash bike on streetcar tracks
Drive over the Cascades at night
Don't buy tire chains and then complain when they are sold out.
Be forced to get off transit because it's stuck in snow
Hug a stranger at the Oregon Brewers Festival
Take a film making class at NW Film Center
Walk the Big Lebowski with a beer at a theatre
Mistake Gus Van Sant for a homeless person


Watch your favorite dive bar turn into a condo
Give your house a name
Complain about a free concert
Britt Daniel
Distrust the police
Visit the Paul Bunyan statue
Join an ironic/drunk sport
Get an Oregon Drivers License (soon)
Take visitors on the OHSU Aerial Tram
Show up an hour late to a show and be late it already started
See the swifts fly into the Chapman Elementary School chimney
Own a Richmond Fontaine record
Talk about enjoying Wordstock
Take the farmer's markets for granted (hopefully never)
Combine love of found art and recycling at Last Thursday
Crash a Wieden-Kennedy office party
Have long conversation about Noam Chomsky
Love Bud Clark
Get caught in the rain at Cathedral Park and fall in love (maybe when the BF visits)



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